Being the mother of the bride or groom is one of the most special roles at any wedding — and one of the most stressful to dress for. You want to look your absolute best without upstaging the bride, without clashing with the wedding party, and without wearing something you’ll regret in thirty years of photographs. The good news is that with a little planning and the right approach, it’s entirely achievable. Here’s exactly how to do it.
Start with a conversation, not a shopping trip
Before you buy a single thing, have a conversation with your child and their partner. Find out:
- The colour palette of the wedding — bridesmaids’ dresses in particular, so you’re not accidentally matching or clashing
- The formality of the wedding — a black tie evening reception calls for something very different to a relaxed garden party
- Whether there are any colours they’d prefer you to avoid — some couples feel strongly about this, others don’t mind at all
- Whether the mothers of the bride and groom are coordinating with each other — many do, some don’t, but it’s worth a conversation to avoid accidentally turning up in the same colour
Getting this information upfront saves an enormous amount of wasted shopping time and avoids any awkward conversations after you’ve already bought something.
What colours work best
The rule of thumb is to complement the wedding palette without matching it exactly. If the bridesmaids are in sage green, dusty blue works beautifully — it sits in the same tonal family without being identical. Neutrals — champagne, ivory (carefully — see below), taupe, soft grey, blush — are safe choices that photograph beautifully across almost every wedding colour scheme.
- Avoid white, ivory, and cream — these are reserved for the bride. Even a cream jacket over a coloured dress can look too close to bridal in photographs.
- Avoid the exact bridesmaid colour — you don’t want to look like an oversized bridesmaid.
- Navy is a classic choice — elegant, flattering on most skin tones, and works across almost every wedding aesthetic.
- Jewel tones work beautifully — emerald, sapphire, deep burgundy, and rich plum are all flattering, photograph well, and feel appropriately celebratory.
- Don’t be afraid of colour — a mother of the bride in a beautiful rich terracotta or cobalt blue often looks more stunning in photographs than one in a safe neutral.
Choosing the right silhouette
The most important thing about the silhouette is that it works for your body and makes you feel genuinely confident — not that it follows any particular rule. A few guidelines that tend to work well:
- Midi length is the most versatile — formal enough for a church ceremony, comfortable enough for a long day, and flattering across a wide range of body shapes
- A matching jacket or coat — particularly useful for church ceremonies or cooler weather, and gives you the option to remove it for the evening reception
- Avoid very tight or very short — you’ll be in photographs for the entirety of a very long day. Comfort and elegance matter more than fashion.
- A trouser suit is a completely valid option — increasingly popular and often more comfortable for a long day than a dress. Choose a well-cut suit in a quality fabric and it looks genuinely elegant.
- Avoid anything too casual — linen trousers and a blouse, however nice, rarely photograph as well as a proper outfit at a wedding
The best places to shop
Mother of the bride outfits are stocked at a slightly different range of shops to general occasionwear, so it’s worth knowing where to look:
- Jacques Vert and Gina Bacconi — two of the most established mother of the bride brands in the UK, with a wide range of coordinating outfits, hats, and accessories. Available in department stores and online.
- Marks and Spencer — increasingly good for occasionwear and mother of the bride, with a wide size range and accessible price point
- John Lewis — stocks a good range of occasionwear brands and often has personal styling appointments available
- Debenhams — good range at mid-range price points
- Phase Eight and Hobbs — both excellent for elegant, well-cut occasionwear that works perfectly for mother of the bride
- Bespoke / made to measure — if budget allows, a made-to-measure outfit guarantees perfect fit and something genuinely unique. Worth considering if you’re struggling to find something off the rack.
Hats, fascinators, and headpieces
Whether to wear a hat is entirely a matter of personal preference and wedding formality. For a formal or traditional wedding, particularly a church ceremony, a hat or fascinator is a lovely touch and very much in keeping. For a more relaxed or contemporary wedding, it’s entirely optional.
A few rules if you do wear one:
- Match or complement your outfit — it doesn’t need to be an exact match but should sit in the same colour family
- Consider the practicalities — a wide brimmed hat makes it difficult for the person behind you to see during the ceremony, and some church doorways can be challenging. A smaller fascinator or headband is often more practical.
- Try it with your full outfit — a hat that looks beautiful on its own can look completely wrong with a particular neckline or silhouette. Always try the complete look together before buying.
- Secure it properly — hats have a tendency to slip during long days. Make sure it’s properly secured and comfortable enough to wear for several hours.
Shoes for a long day
You will be on your feet for a very long time. This is not the day to break in new shoes or to prioritise style over comfort. Block heels and low heels are your friends — they look smart, they’re kinder over a long day, and they’re considerably safer on grass, gravel, and uneven ground. Whatever you choose, wear them in advance — at least a few times around the house and ideally on a proper outing before the wedding.
Colour wise, a shoe that matches or is close to your outfit creates a long, elegant line. Nude or metallic options work with almost everything and are a safe choice if you’re unsure.
Jewellery and accessories
Keep it considered and elegant. This is not the occasion for maximum jewellery — one or two pieces that complement the outfit rather than compete with it. A beautiful necklace or a pair of statement earrings, but not both. Your bag should be small and smart — a clutch or a small structured bag works best and keeps your hands free for the day.
A note on timing
Start looking earlier than you think you need to. Mother of the bride outfits at the popular end of the market sell out quickly, alterations take time, and the stress of trying to find something in the final weeks before a wedding is considerable. Ideally start shopping six months before the wedding, aim to have something ordered or purchased by four months before, and have any alterations completed by six weeks before. This gives you time to find the right accessories without feeling rushed.
Still in the early stages of wedding planning? Our complete guide for newly engaged couples covers everything you need to do first — and our Wedding Planning Bundle keeps every detail organised from engagement to the big day.
You don’t have to figure this out alone
The Big Day Bulletin exists to make this process feel less overwhelming and more enjoyable. Whether you’re at the very beginning like right now, or knee deep in seating plans and supplier emails, we’ve got guides, ideas, and honest advice for every stage. Browse the blog, bookmark what’s useful, and come back whenever you need it.
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