Congratulations — you’re engaged! Once the initial blur of champagne and phone calls settles, the reality of actually planning a wedding tends to arrive fairly quickly. And with it, approximately forty seven browser tabs, three conflicting pieces of advice from your mum, and the vague sense that you’re already behind.
You’re not behind. You’re just at the beginning. And this is exactly where to start.
Before you do anything else: give yourself two weeks
Seriously. Before you book a single venue visit or open a single spreadsheet, give yourself a fortnight to just be engaged. Tell people, celebrate, enjoy it. The wedding industry moves fast and can make everything feel urgent — it isn’t. Two weeks of doing nothing will not cost you your dream venue.
Step 1: Have the big conversation first
Before venues, before guest lists, before Pinterest boards — have one honest conversation with your partner about the big three: budget, guest numbers, and rough timeframe. Everything else flows from these. A £10,000 wedding and a £40,000 wedding are planned completely differently, and knowing which one you’re planning saves an enormous amount of wasted time and heartache down the line.
Step 2: Set your budget (and be realistic about it)
Wedding budgets have a well-documented tendency to expand. The best way to manage this is to set your total number, then divide it across categories before you start spending — not as you go. A rough starting split for a mid-range UK wedding looks something like this:
- Venue and catering: 40–50% of total budget
- Photography: 10–12%
- Music/entertainment: 5–8%
- Flowers and décor: 8–10%
- Attire (both of you): 8–10%
- Stationery and extras: 5%
- Buffer (always have one): 10%
A good wedding planning notebook or budget tracker can genuinely save you thousands simply by keeping everything visible in one place.
Step 3: Write your guest list before you book anything
Your guest list drives almost every other decision — venue size, catering costs, table plan logistics, even your dress (a church ceremony of 120 people calls for something very different to an intimate restaurant dinner for 30). Write a rough list now, even if it changes a dozen times. Include an A list (definite invites) and a B list (would love to have them if numbers allow). Be honest, be kind, and do this together.
Step 4: Choose your approximate date and season
You don’t need an exact date yet, but narrowing down a season helps enormously. Summer Saturdays book up fastest (and cost more). Friday and Sunday weddings at the same venues often cost significantly less and are increasingly popular. Autumn and winter weddings have a completely different and genuinely beautiful aesthetic — and better availability. Think about what matters most to you: weather, flowers, availability of key guests, budget, or all of the above.
Step 5: Start your venue search (but don’t book yet)
Once you have a rough budget, rough guest number, and rough timeframe — now you can start looking at venues. Book in three or four visits before making any decisions. Venues look very different in person to their Instagram grids, and the vibe of a place is something you can only get from standing in it. Questions to ask on visits:
- What is included in the hire fee, and what is extra?
- Do you have a list of approved or preferred suppliers?
- What is your wet weather contingency for outdoor ceremonies?
- What time do guests need to leave, and is there accommodation on site?
- When is the final guest number and menu confirmed?
Step 6: Lock in your photographer early
Good wedding photographers book up faster than almost any other supplier — often 12 to 18 months in advance for popular dates. Even if everything else is still up in the air, if you find a photographer whose work you love, it is worth having the conversation early. Your wedding photos are the thing you will have forever after the day itself. It is genuinely worth prioritising.
Step 7: Get yourself organised from the start
The brides who find wedding planning enjoyable (yes, they exist) tend to have one thing in common: they get organised early and stay that way. That means one place for all your supplier contacts, one running budget document, and one shared folder for all your inspiration and contracts. Whether that’s a dedicated wedding planner, a Notion doc, or a good old-fashioned folder — pick your system before you need it, not after things start to pile up.
You don’t have to figure this out alone
The Big Day Bulletin exists to make this process feel less overwhelming and more enjoyable. Whether you’re at the very beginning like right now, or knee deep in seating plans and supplier emails, we’ve got guides, ideas, and honest advice for every stage. Browse the blog, bookmark what’s useful, and come back whenever you need it.
Found this helpful? Save it to Pinterest so you can find it again when you need it – or share it with a newly engaged friend who could do with a calm, sensible starting point.